Psalm 84 - I Want To Be With You

Written and Composed by Tommy Leinonen and Rebecca Boudreau based on the lyrics of Psalm 84 - King David

Psalm 37 - Be Still

Ps 26 - Vindicate Me, O Lord

This week's Psalm project is based on Psalm 26. This week has been challenging in a few ways... I've been feeling some distance from God and in a time where I feel that guidance is crucial. I thought it was depression for the first few days and just hoped for the best. It's been a few weeks now that I've felt this lack of God's presence. 

Over the last two days God has been giving some clarity about the season I'm in. He's used me to lead two Taiwanese to Christ! I also got to lead worship yesterday for a giving time in DTS and saw God bring in over $10,000 USD in 2 hours. I've been searching my heart asking God if this was a sin issue... But God has shown how He is still using me even though I might not 'feel' His presence. 

Now, I'm a pretty emotional person. Some would say I'm a "feeler". Because of this, this lack feeling God's presence is really disconcerting. Thankfully, I had an encounter with an amazing friend last night. He began to share with me exactly what my heart needed to hear. He began to speak of the Dark Night of the Soul. Many in the Christian walk have experienced times in their lives when they experience a lack of God's presence. It is NEVER that He's actually left Him. God promises His presence always. Through these times, they were challenged to live out the truth they know in faith that all they'd experienced before was true and that just because they didn't "feel" God's presence, didn't mean He wasn't there.

I believe this is where I'm at right now. I learned so much last quarter of SBS and feel that this is a challenge for me to act on the truth I've come to know and believe. These first couple of verses in Ps 26 really challenged me to do this. David was able to ask God to vindicate him because he had done what he knew to be right. Man, how I'd love to be able to ask that from God. Here's the catch: David didn't live with God's Holy Spirit in his heart. He didn't know what it felt like to live in God's presence outside of being in God's tent. But he still lived out the truth he knew every day... 

This is an incredible challenge to me and I hope it's encouraging for you, too! You may not feel the presence of God today and, you know what, it might be a sin issue. Search your heart, ask God if there's something between you and Him. If there's not, press into Him all the more and know that His promises are true. He is still with you. Maybe He's testing you, giving you a chance to live out what you know in faith. Like Job, God may be bringing you into a much more intimate place with Him and He's testing your faith. Don't miss out on this opportunity He's giving you to go deeper! :)

Psalm 108 - With God, We Are Valiant!

Every week we have these projects I fall more and more in love with the Psalms. Mostly, as you've read previously, I love the simple statements that stand in stark contrast to the poetry surrounding them. Like this: Ps. 108:13 - With God we shall do valiantly; it is he who will tread down our foes. 

As a songwriter, I like to spend time making lyrics "artsy"... I don't want my song to sound like everyone else's, nigh impossible I tell you. However, every time a song has been strictly from the Lord, which usually means it was written in about 5 mins, the lyrics are simple, to the point and deeply impactful. I love this. Only God can strip away all the needless things we think are necessary, in every part of life, and the result is something more beautiful and touching than 100 songs with "cool" or "unique" lyrics and rhythms. -- That was all introduction. *Deep Breath* :)

David really got it, ya know? He knew there was nothing in and of himself that could win this victory. His "mighty men" were truly mighty. David attributes their strength to Jesus. There's no other passage in scripture which talks about small numbers of men doing such incredible things. David's life is the very picture of God taking those who are little, especially in the eyes of men, and using them to do the things no one thought they could. David wasn't regarded by his father or family, yet he became the standard by which every future of Israel and even those of the world would be measured by. 
WITH GOD, WE ARE VALIANT! I wish there was a way to type out the feelings my heart has when thinking about this. Sometimes it simply is overwhelming. Yet, it's true... We've seen it over and over and we'll continue to see it as long as we're willing to lay everything down on the line and let Him guide us.

Only with God will you ever experience the adventure your heart longs for, the intimacy you were made for and the completion of the work you're destined for. Be encouraged!

Proverbs 3:11-12

The LORD disciplines those whom he loves.

Challenging? Yes! 

I've spent countless minutes pondering how I would discipline my children. My mother did a wonderful job in raising me (If I do say so myself); I only hope I can do half as well. But still I struggle with correction. My mom never yelled at me and I never saw her get truly angry with me, at least I don't remember it. When people today are angry or just upset with me, my instant reaction is usually to shut down emotionally and then I get a migraine and then I need to go sleep until I forget the trauma I just experienced. If not this, I usually end up bawling my eyes out in front of the person, leaving them confused as to why a 22 year old is crying because of something (correction) that is perfectly normal and necessary. 

Recently I had a really good friend talk to me about starting to change our working style which had to do with us spending less time together. My instant, fleshly reaction was to think he WANTED to spend less time with me, the rejection feelings took over and what happened? I shut up, looked down and didn't talk for a while. Then the Lord started to speak to me. He asked me why I was feeling this way when this friend had over and over again proved he liked hanging out with me and genuinely loved me as a friend. What came out of my mouth after that was this horrifically self-pityish remark. I said that I felt like God was punishing me for doing something wrong and that's why we had to hang out less. My friend then said some very wise-words: "God is moving us forward BECAUSE we've been doing a good job. He thinks we're ready for the next step." 

This event has replayed over and over in my head as I realized, especially in the area of being alone, that I believed it was a punishment every time the Lord asked me to do something I wasn't exactly excited about. Working through Proverbs this week, this verse really stuck out to me because here was man from 1,000BC who had found out the same wisdom as I was learning in real life. I realize now that if God didn't love me, He'd leave me where I'm at, in all of my brokenness. But no, He DOES love me and is willing to say or do things in my life that may cause me pain because He desires my growth. 

There's another passage: Proverbs 29:1 - "He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing." - I think this has got to be one of the saddest occurrences to God. He loves us so when we are going the wrong way, He tries to steer us back in the right direction. But how many times do we, in our pride, harden our hearts and refuse to receive the blessing God wishes to impart to us. The enemy wins and God is left without the one thing He desired: a relationship with His creation. 

It's so important that we are humble before God and others so that we can receive the blessings of correction and reproof. It's crucial that we recognize God's punishment is out of His love and His sovereign knowledge that a relationship with Him and righteousness are the things that will bring us true happiness. 

I encourage you, and myself, to spend some time in prayer and ask if there's anything God's been trying to tell you recently that you're simply too proud to hear. Don't miss out on what he has for you in this season. He wants so badly to have a more intimate relationship with you, that's why He corrects you. 

The White Tower

Proverbs 25:28 ESV "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." 

I was reading the entire book of Proverbs aloud today as preparation for our first week of 3rd Quarter. This verse, 25:28, stuck out to me the most. I know, it's not a Psalm. :) 

After finishing the book, I began journaling on the subject. I was burdened by this verse, reflecting on my own lack of self-control. Whether in eating, exercise or abstinence from sin, I felt as though this word-picture described me perfectly. I felt as though I was a city, robbed, left without walls. Left without defense, my city (my heart) was decimated by the enemy. 

Praying about this, I asked God what He thought. Immediately, I got a picture in my mind similar to the one I've shown here. Although, the city around the tower was broken down and smoke rose all around. The impression I got was that the tower was God, and He was at the center of my heart. Impenetrable and tall, it stood unaffected by the war that had taken place around it. I realized that all of the precious things from the city had also been gathered into the tower and were kept safe. 

While the city looked torn down, ruined and worthless, God had graciously protected all that I held dear. Even though the city had been broken down due to my own negligence,  the tower stood strong and unaffected. God showed me that, while He is in my heart, He is still separate. His strength is not affected by my sin and He, in all of His mercy and grace, provides safety for me in the times of my worst trouble caused by my own sin. How good and mighty is our God who provides a safe haven for us despite our rejection of Him. 

Truly understanding this grace will lead to a transformed life, a heart willing to be purified and brought through the fire so that the dross can be lifted out. We MUST realize the incredible significance of God's grace in our lives and allow this to impact us more deeply than it has before.

I really hope this blesses you today. Remember that no matter how decimated your life feels, whether due to your own sin or that of someone else, God IS a strong tower in the center of your heart. There is a high cost of entry into this tower but His Son has paid the cost for you to enter at anytime. There is a seal of this payment on your heart, the Holy Spirit, who bids you to come and find safety, rest and guidance in His shelter.

If you haven't accepted the payment Christ paid for your life, I encourage you to message me or find someone you know who knows Christ. Don't waste another minute searching for your own strength which has failed you time and time again and accept Christ... Allow this strong tower to be built in the center of your life. You will find love, strength, security and guidance that does not include your own strength. Then, you will glorify God, your very life will, because He has done something in you that neither you or anyone else could have ever done. 

Psalm 57 - The Shadow of Your Wings

This is going to be short... :)

Going into our 2nd Quarter break I'm excited but also nervous. God is calling me into deep intimacy with Him and I have this voice in my head that keeps saying, "Go off by yourself, get alone, go hide in a closet." Those of you who know me well know why I'm nervous. I don't particularly like time by myself... It's not a strength of mine. But, like I said, I'm also excited! I know that, while it may be tough, it's necessary if I wish to go to the levels of intimacy with my LORD and Savior that I so desire.

Psalm 57:1 ESV "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuges; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by." 

In Hebrew, "the shadow of your wings" refers to the flaps of a cloak or some type of covering garment. The picture we see here is a little child being sheltered from a storm inside their parent's big jacket, while the parent stands strong in the midst of the storm. All the child has to do is stay close to his/her parent and he won't feel the effects of the storm. For David, he was running from Saul when he wrote this. He had this great promise from God but now it seemed like the world was after him because of it. Don't we feel like this sometimes? We have the promise of eternal life from our Father, but from the moment we accept it, it seems as if the entire world is out to get us.

David calls us to cling close to our Father and stay within the shelter of His protection. Only He can stand strong in the midst of every storm, every trial and every heartache. What an incredible blessing it is for us, born sinners, to find grace and mercy in the eyes of our Savior. He doesn't then put us on a short leash and set us in a locked room so that we can never make a mistake again. He freely loves and His arms are open wide for us to have full and unhindered relationship with Him and He promises that when we seek Him and get close, He'll protect us from the storms. He may not take away the storms, for such is life in a world so set on rebelling against the God of the universe. Find rest, though, in His love. Go and find a quiet place, lock the door and let Him speak to you. Ask Him to quiet your thoughts and your heart. He so desires this intimacy with you! Don't wait another second to dive headfirst into the relationship He desires to have with you!